My husband got a call at 5:30pm from a distraught friend. He was going to loose his daughter at any minute and his wife realized she needed a photo of herself alone with her baby. With no thought, I got into the car and was at Ramos home just after 6pm camera in tow. When I entered everything was hushed. There was little evidence of the usual hustle and bustle of the Ramos world. It was like the Lord had laid a gentle hand over each heart and was taking pleasure in each breath that Darcy was taking. Though tiny, she looked robust. I was not prepared for that. She looked so perfect. How could this baby have been forsaken by the medical world? She was pink and beautiful, like any regular newborn. Once I was in the bedroom, I was surprised to find the atmosphere far from depressed and sad. No, Jason and Tracy were upbeat, even joking with each other, enjoying every minute they were having with their daughter. They seemed to really get it – that these moments were precious. That these moments that they were having were ones the doctors said they would not have. Ones intended for them by God. I am only an amateur photographer and don’t have much equipment. Okay, I only had my camera and the room was dark. Uh oh, I wanted to do Darcy justice. I wanted to help and not just hand them blurry memories. Jason in his leveled practicality went and got his garden floor lights! Perfect. I started shooting. Darcy was the perfect subject, round, beautiful, moving slowly, enjoying the warmth of the lights and her mother’s touch. Pretty soon the props were coming out! Tracy took charge arranging Darcy, finding every possible angle and pose. She knew what she wanted, what she needed to be the memory of Darcy’s second evening in the world. I wanted to get some daytime shots, so I came over the next day too. We were able to get the whole family in their Darcy foot T-shirts out in the back yard. That was special to see them all together, as they should be. We got some shots of just mom and dad, with Darcy wrapped in the blanket Donna Rodgers had made for her. When the light outdoors faded we were able to get some intimate mother and daughter shots too. Over the next week I processed the photos. Even though I read the daily email posts about Darcy’s triumphs and deterioration I couldn’t connect the images I was working on, this little but pink healthy baby, with what I was hearing. I was in denial that she was going to die. The next time I saw Darcy is the day she died. It was my turn to bring the Ramos family dinner. I was in deep shock when I saw Darcy, how little and faded she had become. My heart broke for Tracy and Jason and the Ramos children. How much they had lived through these passed weeks! What they had faced together! While I was able to give them photos of their daughter to cherish, I will forever be blessed with the picture of a family who was carried through this life changing event by the sure hand of God. Numbered but complete these lips now know the taste of life that should not have been but was these hands now know the book of days slowly unfolded, quickly read these arms now know the weight of skin, bone, breath taken lightly, found wanting these eyes now know the thin veil of sleep wrapped around sweet days of doing this skin now knows the hand of the Creator the murky veins that pulse and fight for time this family now knows the love of a Lord who rains blessings when He chooses who knows our birth-days, our opening of eyes, our closing, our very breath. By Shona Cole for the Ramos family
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Shona ColeDarcy's photographer who provided us with most of Darcy's photos. (Pg. 85) She is also the author of The Artistic Mother: A Practical Guide to Fitting Creativity into Your Busy Life
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